An old photograph of a lanky, bearded guy has turned up, so once again we’re afforded the opportunity to witness Lynch’s Inexorable Law of Amateur Photograph Collecting in action. It operates with all the mechanical, pitiless necessity of the other principles which govern the observable universe.
The Abraham Lincoln Observer notes three discrepancies between this latest Pseudo-Lincoln and the generally accepted Lincoln of record: Pseudo-Lincoln is smoking a pipe, drinking, and has what appears to be a small mammal sticking out of his face.
BONUS POINTS: The photo in question comes from what the owner claims to be a trove of Roosevelt family photos. That’s supposedly Teddy Roosevelt’s dad sitting next to Abe. It’s basically an inescapable conclusion. See, Teddy was a mere lad during the Civil War, but this guy resembles Teddy, ergo it’s Teddy’s father. Obvious, really.
I suppose it’s also possible that it’s Teddy himself, shortly after falling into a rift in the fabric of the space-time continuum during one of his hunting expeditions and landing on the White House lawn, just as Lincoln was celebrating a personal record for longest interval between beard trimmings by smoking his first pipe and indulging in a stiff drink. But we don’t want to jump to any hasty conclusions here, do we?